Being Odd By Not Getting Even

   This time of the year a lot of television fans are gearing up for the previews of their favorite shows. Whether it is Modern Family, Law & Order, CSI, Dancing With the Stars or Glee people are excited about the premieres. Everyone has a favorite it seems. Every fall the major networks broadcast some new shows in hopes of finding the next big one. This year one show caught my eye. It is premiering right now as I am typing this post. It is called Revenge. Recently while driving around Raleigh I noticed a billboard advertising this new show. I thought that was interesting. The more I thought about it the more intrigued I became. The topic of revenge filled my mind. Questions started to go through my head. What makes us want revenge? Why can't we just turn the other cheek? Why can't we just forgive and move on? The topic sells advertising for networks and people will watch. Because, really that is all that matters, right? I don't think so.

   Revenge is defined by Webster as "to exact punishment or expiation for a wrong; an opportunity to retaliate or gain satisfaction." Let's face it gang: revenge feels good! There are a lot of other things in life that feel good but are not healthy for us. Revenge is no different. People all over the world have been done wrong by someone at one point in their life. I will admit that I have wished bad on others who have done me wrong. And I have probably done that more than once. What about you? Be honest now. I think if we were brutally honest with ourselves we would discover more thoughts of revenge than we could ever have imagined. I don't feel the need to list all of the reasons why we would want to exact revenge. I think that is pretty obvious. I just want to know why.

    The way I see it revenge is the easy way out. We see it on television, movies, and in fictional books. It is made to look glamorous. Hollywood can take anything and make it look sexy and appealing. Kind of like how smoking was made to look fifty years' ago. Look how that turned out. Revenge makes us feel like we are back on even ground with the person or people who have done us wrong. We do not want people to one-up us and if they do we are going to make them pay. They need to pay dearly for their "crime" against us. We want to see them hurt so they can know what it feels like. And on and on we justify it. We convince ourselves six ways to Sunday that they should go down. Really, we are the ones who suffer. We end up doing more harm to ourselves than we could have ever thought. We waste precious time plotting the demise of someone else and wishing harm on them. With that we lose traction in our heart and become hardened people. It is a decision we will soon regret.

   We can go through life one of two ways when people do us wrong. We can harbor resentment, anger and bitterness to that person or persons or we can work towards letting it go and forgiving. The choice is not that easy some might say. Well, you are right. Why is that? Because we hurt. We feel pain. Our lives are turned upside down. We experience betrayal and are decimated by actions of other people. I get it. I know. Forgiveness is not easy but it is extremely necessary. Revenge looks cool. You don't think there are people who want a piece of Bernie Madoff or Enron? Think again. We don't have to convince each other that bad things happen to good people. The Internet, newspapers and magazines are filled with sad stories. Every day we hear one. Maybe you have experienced it. I feel for people who go through this. I am sure we can all empathize. And we do. We share in your pain.

   The point is what do we do about it. Can we get ourselves to the place where we can forgive and move on? The answer is yes. We are called to forgive. It does not mean we forget what happened and it does not mean we are buddies again. Forgiveness releases freedom in your life! Why wouldn't we want that? When you forgive others you are no longer held hostage by thoughts of revenge. You move on and you are not stuck spinning your wheels.  What happens if we do not forgive? To me it is simple. If we do not forgive we will walk around a very angry person. We will be so caught up in getting back at other people and making them pay that we will lose sight of our purpose and destiny in this world. It is a trick and a lot of us buy into. So, what's the answer? Be odd. Forgive and move on. Getting even will not help you. It will only hurt you and others. Deep down inside most of us really do not want revenge. It is not glamorous. It is deadly. Let's petition Hollywood for a TV show about forgiveness. You with me? Remember, it's about the dash.