I Will Take the Sweet Please

 Sour Patch Kids are by far my favorite movie candy in the whole world. I could eat several during any movie. One box is no match for this movie guru. It is one of those guilty pleasures I have to have while watching a flick. Of course, I always have my popcorn but there is always enough room for some Sour Patch Kids. The claim of this candy is that it is sweet and then sour. So, when you put one of these sugar coated morsels in your mouth, you taste sweet and then your pucker face emerges and here comes the sour. It is such a welcome taste for me. This past week I had a taste of sweet and sour in my mouth but it was not the candy kind. The figurative tastes of sweet and sour in my mouth were a result of my reaction to the reaction of one man's blunder. I think there are people in our world who lack a filter. Just because you think it doesn't mean you need to say it (or post it on Twitter). A little seven-year boy would give all of us a lesson on what it means to love others even when they mess up. It's heartwarming considering the obscene that preceded it. Deplorable posts have become an epidemic. People need to grow up.

  Last weekend we (as in fans of the NFL) were treated to two magnificent conference championship games. I actually picked the two eventual winners. In both games there were players who didn't come through when their teams needed them. They failed to execute when the game was on the line. As a result, their respective teams lost and will be watching next week's Super Bowl from their favorite establishment or living room. Heartbreaking it was. You have to feel for these guys. However, their teammates picked them up and didn't throw them to the wolves. Baltimore had two guys fail at clutch time. Wide receiver Lee Evans dropped what would have been the game winning touchdown and their kicker Billy Cundiff missed an easy 31-yard field goal which would have tied the game and sent it into overtime. There was outrage in Baltimore-land. However, the reaction would pale in comparison to what happened after the NFC championship game later that day.

  Kyle Williams, son of the current general manager of major league baseball's Chicago White Sox, Ken Williams, was playing in his second year with the San Francisco 49ers. He was born in San Jose, CA and graduated from Arizona State. The wide receiver had the assignment of returning punts against the visiting New York Giants last Sunday evening. Normally, Ted Ginn, Jr. would be returning kicks but he was out for the game and Williams was thrust into this role. It would not go very well for the young man. He would mess up on two punt returns including the costly fumble in overtime that setup Lawrence Tynes' winning field goal for New York. You could imagine how the kid must have felt. He didn't mean to fumble the ball. He didn't mean to cost his team the game. It just happens. All of us mess up. Hopefully people would be more understanding and offer some grace. Get ready for the sour.

  I have my favorite teams in sports. I love competition. Winning and losing go hand in hand when it comes to sports. There is always a winner and a loser. It is just the nature of the beast. However, as a fan I realize something very important as I am sure you do too. It's just a game. So, Williams had two costly fumbles and the 49ers lost to the Giants. After the dust settled a storm arrived on Twitter. Here is what a gutless person under the account of Javier Pasquel wrote to Williams (grammar mistakes included): "I hope you, youre wife, kids and family die, you deserve it." I was speechless. I could not believe that anyone in their right mind could actually wish death to a person and his family over a football game. Apparently, this person was not. At least, I hope not. Seriously, no one 'deserves' to die because they fumbled a football. People need to have some perspective on life. He left everything he had on the football field trying to make plays. I tip my cap to the man. He gets my bulldog award.

  Enter the sweet. Sometimes it is the innocent of all innocent that leads the way. These innocent children have not been overtaken by the cynicism that exists in our world. They don't think everything or everyone sucks. They don't wish ill on others even when they mess up. There is still hope I say. The sweet in all of this came in the form of Owen Shure of Los Angeles, CA. He wrote a letter to Williams after having a conversation with his dad following the 49ers' loss. Here is the letter (with innocent spelling and grammar errors included):

 Dear Mr. Williams,

 We just watched the Playoff game. I feel really bad for you but I wanted to tell you that you had a great season. you sould be so very proud, so I wanted to thank you.
I am your #1 FAN!

Owen Shure
Los Angeles, CA

p.s. your awsome


A seven-year old boy taught us all a lesson. It is heartfelt and pure. It makes what was so ugly and vile have a happy ending. Life won't always turn out happy. However, it should never stop us from loving people no matter how bad they screw up especially with something so trivial as a football game. Owen is the man! For him, it's about the dash! Let it be for us as well.

Hang On, Help is on the...Way?

 Anyone in their late thirties or older probably remembers the song I used for the title of this post. It was recorded by the Australian group, Little River Band, and was a big hit back in the 1970's. I was probably six or seven when the song was released. This week the whole theme of helping people went very deep for me. One of my greatest joys in life is to help others. I live for it. I believe my main purpose in life is to do just that. Sometimes though helping people is another person's call. And when the help that is so innocent and needed gets interfered with and shot down I can feel the inner portion of my being wince in pain. You ever feel like that? I hate that feeling. A lot of us work so hard to bring change and make a difference. Most of us have an innate desire to help our fellow man. One thing I have figured out though is not everything has to be planned out. Not every call to action to lend a hand needs a process. People are hanging on. Is help really on the way?

 Churches, schools and non-profit organizations need help. Everywhere in this world there are organizations and people who are desperate for help. I bet there is not a person alive today who has not either received or given a helping hand. In fact, I bet we all have done both many times. I think today though help is becoming harder to give when tied in with an organization. The thing that really gets me deep is, why does helping people have to be so hard? I am an action person. I see a need and I find a way to help. It's just what I do. I am sure a lot of you do too. It is great to see it in action. The problem is some people can't see past processes. These shortcomings can sometimes thwart needed help. I can't figure out why. These processes, while made with good intentions, sometimes let the innocent down. Maybe some of you think they protect. I am sure we could debate it all night. When children are negatively affected as a result you definitely have my attention. They are not to be messed with. They are not to be overlooked and passed over. And when they are I have a big problem with that.

 I understand processes are put in place because you can't nor shouldn't have chaos. Yes, I am an order kind of a guy (to a point) and can comprehend this notion. Power can be abused and so people need to know that they cannot just have carte blanche to do whatever. I am not saying people should be given a license to roll that way. However, we all have platforms we can use in our lives to help others. It looks different for each of us but nonetheless we all have them. My platforms are more community driven. I am the head of a particular organization in the community in which I live and I coach team sports. My reason for getting involved was to help and give back. I have to level with you though, the more I see deeper into organizations the more I wonder how anyone gets anything done. We can accomplish things all day long but are things really getting done? Processes are bunging things up. People who throw their authority around because they are afraid they will lose control are not helping. They are hurting. And they continue to blindly do so never seeing what is really important. They miss opportunity after opportunity and they don't even know it.

 You all are probably wondering what I am talking about. Part of the whole reason I started this blog was to speak to injustice. It is pervasive in our world. There are injustices everywhere. I experienced one this week. It was not on a grand level but enough to tweak me a whole lot. When you experience it yourself you take it more personal. I read a story in our local paper that brought joy to my heart. The first thing I wondered was how I could help. I got excited. That's a lot of us. We see something and ponder how we can help. I initiated an e-mail (following a process) and couldn't wait to see the help come to fruition. Unfortunately the help was shot down because of a technicality and a distorted view of authority. We could have helped. No one will ever convince me otherwise. All of us believe in something. Each of us, deep down to our core, wants to see our world made better. Helping others is truly awesome. It can inspire you to do more and inspire others to join. There are far more positives than there are negatives. I would even intimate there is not one single negative. There are just people. And unfortunately some are getting in the way of progress.

  I think what you may start to see is people forming their own "help" groups. Neighborhoods and communities banding together to get things done. I bet we would see more progress. There is no red tape and no egos. Rather there are people who just want to bring change. I don't know about you but I am not interested in the status quo. I don't want to be part of any organization that does things, and only does those things, because that is what they have always done. Change won't happen that way. People will not be helped. I am not here to kiss anyone's backside and neither should you. Lives won't be altered for the better with that in mind. I think this experience has inspired me to really do some serious contemplation. Maybe all of this is supposed to happen for reasons I don't yet understand. That excites me! Maybe I am supposed to feel what I feel when helping people is made so difficult. The more I see the internal workings of some organizations the more I feel the need to start my own. Everything in due time. For now, I will use whatever my platforms are to lend a helping hand. We all should do as such. The time to help is now. Remember, it's about the dash!

A Breakthrough to Greatness

  She was tired of the predictability. The thought of having one more conversation and debate about what style doorknob to use made her head spin. There had to be something more to life. The world of architecture excited her but there had to be more. She was given a talent, a very creative one, and was looking for a way to use it in a way that would allow others to discover inventiveness of their own. Emily Pilloton talked about her creative passion at a luncheon I recently attended. She was inspiring to listen to. The passion she spoke with was infectious. Hearing Emily's talk brought a lot of things to my mind. The world around her was dictating how and when she moved. However, she wanted to create her own path. Whether she succeeded or failed Emily was going to give it everything she had. Creating your own non-profit is not easy. I would not have thought otherwise. The cliche of thinking outside of the box has come and gone. Emily was breaking the box and the lives of many would change course. There are lots of good people in this world. Many are stepping into greatness and a box will not hold them back.

  Hearing talks like this are right up my alley. I love hearing how people decide to take control of their God-given talent and use it in ways they determine. She had a mission and a vision and decided it was go-time. She had been following someone else's vision all the while using her gifts and talents. That is okay for a time--especially when you are learning. However, the time had come for that to change. People like Emily aren't sitting around waiting for someone to hand something to them. They are going after it themselves. As my dad used to say, "They are taking the bull by the horns." Yes, that may be a worn out cliche but it is right on the money. The road was not easy either. Roadblocks, in the form of other people, often find their way to our path. If you are like Emily roadblocks get busted. Her spunk is contagious. Her passion to obliterate the box is attractive and gutsy. Great people have that zest to see change. And there is not a box big enough to keep them from moving ahead.

  Many of us live our lives wanting things done for us. We want to be comforted and taken care of. While on the surface this may not be dangerous I believe that these characteristics distract us from our purpose. These traits take away our passion and cause us to lose sight of what our talents can bring to others. Innovators like Emily exist everywhere in our world. There are people who are amazingly gifted and talented. Great people are everywhere and the world is being changed little by little. And yet there are many who are too preoccupied to understand the intensity of their own gifting. Sometimes I think we don't pay attention to things that really grate on us. Now, I am not talking about the person in front of you that actually drives the speed limit or the retail store that never seems to have enough people working. I mean the real things in life that matter. Maybe you should keep track of them. Write them down. That is a place to start. Your talents are dying to bring change. Greatness is inside each one of us. We are all an Emily. What are we waiting for? Invitations won't be arriving in the mailbox.

  Sometimes we allow the factors of life to control us rather than the other way around. As a person of faith I give the wheel to the One who loves me and wants me to use the gifts He gave. Who is calling the shots for you? We are all at different points. The key really is not where you are but rather what you are doing about where you are. Right now my wife is going to school to achieve her undergraduate degree. Greatness is happening in her life. She busted through the box. Were there roadblocks? You bet. Don't think for one minute that greatness does not come with a price. I am here to support her and our family and help all of us achieve our goals. Greatness is happening in my life as I support her. The key point is that greatness is a matter of letting go of fear. What's there to really be afraid of? For me the only thing to be afraid of is not trying at all. The box needs a beating. Life is not to be lived in a sedentary state. Only the box stands still.

  Emily Pilloton has reached greatness. Maybe you have reached it yourself. Congratulations to you!Remember as you travel on the path to greatness that you were born for this. You were meant to be a teacher, architect, engineer, singer, lawyer, doctor, artist, blogger, writer/author, business owner, non-profit leader, scientist, pastor, facility manager, store manager, plumber, salesperson...and the people you have encountered along the way needed you. Maybe they still do today. Your greatness is about them. It is not about self-aggrandizement. Greatness is not found in the puffing up of our own achievements. We can't be so concerned with our own success that we lose sight of the reason we were given the gifts we have. There is no honor in that. Anyone can do that. That is the easy way. It is about making a difference for others. You don't need to start a non-profit but get in the game. Participate in your life. I want you to break the box, shred it into pieces and find your greatness. Remember, it's about the dash!

Starting Doesn't Require Society's Blessing

  Now that 2012 is here we are bombarded with advertisements for Weight Watchers and gym memberships and other "get in shape, eat better" endorsements. While I don't have a problem with people advertising their business, I do ponder one point in particular. Why do we, the consumer/customer/goal-seeker, wait until the New Year to start something new? For some they like starting fresh with month one. Others may have fallen off their exercise and eating routines during the Holidays so it is a perfect time to turn it around. The advertisers know it and they reel us in. And we are easy prey. Still, do we have to wait until the calendar hits January 1 to start something new? I would intimate that we do not. Starting something has its own unique feel to it. It has its own set of characteristics. If we own it then we start it when it needs to begin. Somehow I think it means more to us when we do it in our own time. I know it does me.

  Listen, I have nothing against people wanting to be fit or eat better. My gym is full of people trying hard. I think those are great goals provided they are specific, measurable and you have someone to hold you to them. When I hear people want to change something or work on an area of their life I get excited. I am fired up for them. Somehow though in the back of our minds there may be some doubt. Do we really think the person will stick with it? Do we think we will stick with it? Well, statistically we don't stick with it. According to my research twenty-five percent of people will bail on their new goals/resolutions within the first week of the year and an additional eleven percent will bolt by the end of January. So, thirty-six percent of people don't make it through the first month! I find that staggering in one sense and not surprising in another. It is staggering because that is an awful lot of people throwing in the towel. It does not surprise me because people jump in and go full boar without understanding that Rome was not built in a day. Your body is no different.

 Starting something should not always require the calendar to be at month one. I have friends and family who have started things in mid-year or late in the year. They have done it quietly and with excellence. I applaud them just as much as I applaud those who start something in the beginning of the year. The point is we can start something anytime. Society can tell us when, how, or where. However, we can decide not to pay attention. Make that a goal! I think we start new things in January because we are conditioned to do so. Perhaps we have a fixation on the number one as if counting from two or seven taints the accomplishment. It doesn't and it won't. Society says this is the time to get control of your finances or get in shape or eat better or whatever. Not really, folks. What if we just lived our lives with consistency. Yeah, it is a tough world out there. So many things are vying for our time, energy and money. None of us will do everything well. I get it. We will always have areas to work on. Trust me I know.

 My big point in all of this is don't set your goals based on the fact that everyone else is setting them. If you normally set them at the beginning of the year then great. Keep doing it. Maybe you run on the July to June schedule like some companies do. Great! Set your goals that way. Maybe April will come and you decide you want to revamp your financial situation. Perfect. There is not a better time to begin then the one you own and choose. A word of caution however. We can say we will start something new tomorrow and then three months later we are still saying it. That is not good and you will never reach the uniqueness and destiny the Creator has for you with that approach. Pick a date and a subject and you are off and running. Surround yourself with people who will challenge you, not with people who will tell you what you want to hear. It won't end well if people are not put in place to cover all of the bases. Plot your course, know where you are, know where are you going and then ease yourself into it. Don't throw yourself into it. You will be better off. You will be a positive statistic.

 The bottom line is I want to see people make changes in their life. I want to see the drug addict kick the habit. I want the person who wants to lose 20 pounds to drop the weight (and keep it off). I rejoice with the person who decides they want to take control of their finances instead of the other way around. I am for you, whoever you are. I am for you whatever your goal is. Simply I am offering a different approach to how you go after the change you so desperately want. You don't need a one on the calendar to give you the necessary motivation. Change can happen any day, anytime and anywhere. Your goals are attainable no matter when you start. Goals are hard enough. Pressure can be good and bad. Some of us are good under pressure and some are not. Take your time and be purposeful in what you do. Make your minutes and hours count. Start at your own beginning. Remember, it's about the dash!