The Wrong Kind of Victims

  Last weekend I had the privilege of coaching my son and eight other boys in a weekend baseball tournament here in North Carolina. It was a ton of fun for me as coaching baseball is something I absolutely love...well, that is next to playing baseball! I cherish these times as I know one day they will no longer be there. However, there was something that happened during one of the contests involving an opposing coach that epitomizes what is wrong with kids' sports today. It is something that makes me desperate to bring change and will cause me to continue to coach for as long as I can to see it through. Time and time again Little League coaches think it is all about them. They want to win badly and will stop at nothing to do so. Even if it is to the detriment of those under their care. How sad and infuriating. That's not a joyful combination really. Neither are big egos and cheaters.

  In addition we have all seen the news regarding the travesty at Penn State on our TV screens, heard it on our radios and read it in our newspapers and on Internet boards. Now, I am not here to pile on the Penn State injustice because that is not what I do. My job is not to judge. The Penn State case does make me sick to my stomach as I am sure it does yours. Too many grown-ups worried about themselves and caring nothing for the innocent. I don't think there are too many people out there who feel otherwise. However, there is one common thread in all of this and it has to do with injustice towards our kids. As a dad of three children I know that I would do anything to protect my kids from harmful situations and people. I would also do what I could to protect my kids from egotistical little league coaches far more concerned with winning than giving their boys a great experience. Both settings, while vastly different in their miscarriage of justice, have left me asking myself a lot of questions. Does it you? I am tired of all of it. Our kids are being victimized and it is time to end the madness.

  During my son's baseball tournament there was some political stuff that took place leading up to its beginning. I was told I could not have player "X" because he played on a travel team only to see that player show up on someone else's team. I then was forced to take another player supposedly because his parents are big financial contributors to the league. You can't make this stuff up. I only wish I was. Much to my chagrin this stuff happens in kids' leagues everywhere. Dads and even moms acting like "little Johnny" or "little Susie" is the end-all-be-all. The problem I have in all of this is that our kids are the ones who are witnessing grown men and women act like babies. Grown men and women are living vicariously through kids and it serves not one single purpose. The kids deserve better. Adults are letting them down. Anyway, after all of that mess got sorted out (I went out and recruited my own player who is as good as gold and so is his family) we had some games to play. And so the "fun" began.
 
  Our team won the first game and then fell behind early in game two, 7-0.  During a particular controversial play the other coach started to pretend he was also the umpire. It was then I simply asked the ACTUAL umpire if he could take care of calling the game. I felt it was important since it actually is the job of the umpire(s) to be the judge of balls, strikes, outs, etc.  Needless to say the coach did not like that and popped off at me and then did so a few other times. He even tried to win the game by allowing a call to stand he knew was wrong (we had talked about it in the pregame regarding warning a kid if he tried to steal before the ball crossed the plate). So much for setting a good example for the kids he was coaching. Imagine being one of the kids on that team and knowing that your coach allowed you to win a game that went against an agreed rule. Our team came back and won the game and eventually won the championship. Justice was served I guess. After the crazy game was over the coach was nowhere to be found. He didn't shake hands with me or my kids. Sore losers disguised as coaches are bad examples for kids. It's disturbing and yet it is happening all over. We need to stop letting these over-inflated egos dressed up as coaches anywhere near our kids. Just because they have a pulse and wear a ball cap does not mean they are qualified to coach kids. It's a crying shame really.

  The Penn State catastrophe also saw kids being victimized albeit in a much more perverse and destructive way. People high up knew about it but did nothing. Meanwhile, the kids who had their innocence ripped away, were left to feel ashamed and wallow alone in their misery. Boys have this thing where they look up to other men. It could be their dad, a coach, teacher, camp counselor or anyone in a position of authority. They put their trust in these men only to have it destroyed. Some of them never get the healing they need. This disturbs me and it breaks my heart all in one. I am sure it does for you too. Crimes against children draw my ire. I have a difficult time watching, hearing and reading about them. All of them! Please hear me though. I am not trying to compare these two situations as if they are remotely similar. They truly are not! I am simply communicating my anger and disgust in adult behavior in a situation I experienced firsthand and one I watched and listened to from afar. In both cases I simply do not like what I see. We need to stop witnessing this destruction in our world--especially to the innocent of all innocent.

  Yesterday I posted on my Facebook page how disappointed I was at the folks protesting because the university did the right thing and fired the head football coach. Why weren't they protesting the fact that children were taken advantage of by a predator? What in the world is wrong with these people?! Kids lose their innocence and apparently that is okay? I mean, what other conclusion can you come to based on the actions of these protesters? However, take away their beloved coach and they riot. We put folks like these coaches on pedestals and think that they walk on hallowed ground. Meanwhile we have kids who are trying to understand what in the world has happened and why they had to endure such pain. Kids have it hard enough these days don't you think? They are our future presidents, lawyers, doctors, scientists, artists, musicians and now their little worlds have been rocked and shattered. And we protest the firing of a coach? I cannot and will not ever understand what in the world these people are thinking. I do believe they are selfish and in a lot of cases had too much to drink so they decided to go break stuff. In any case, children are being victimized and people decide to tear up the town for all the wrong reasons. Why not use that energy to make a change in the injustices going on against children! There is a novel idea if there ever was.

 In the end we all need to do our part to prevent our kids from being victimized. Let's stop passing over kids as if they don't exist. They need better from us as their parents, coaches, teachers, pastors, doctors, lawyers and politicians. All of us who are grown men and women were once children. I know many of you out there wished someone would have been there to stop injustice from happening to you. It doesn't really matter what kind. None of this is okay folks. We as the adults NEED to stop being so wrapped up in what we look like and more concerned with teaching, shaping and molding our kids for what is to come in their lives. I told my team on Saturday night after we had lost game three that they would remember this time for the rest of their lives. I wanted to give the kids more than just the knowledge of how to catch and throw or how to hit the ball correctly. For me the joy of coaching comes from seeing them become better people. I may never witness it but it won't stop me from giving it everything I have.

  When I review stories like Penn State and coaches with egos twice the size of their own bodies I get a serious bout of holy discontent. Sometimes it may come out unholy but my motives are genuine. We need to protect our kids. They are our pride and joy. They are precious and special and they need us. We need to look out for those who don't know better and are not able to look out for themselves. It is our charge to do so. When we take advantage of them we damage more than we could possibly imagine. Universities, Little Leagues, schools, churches and communities everywhere need to do better for our kids. The world is rough and our children need every ounce of everything we have. These are all OUR kids. They are special and unique, full of life and innocence. Let's stop seeing that taken from them. We can rise against it child by child. It will take all of our efforts. Are you in? Remember, it's about the dash.