A Time to Say Goodbye

  One of the things I have done many times throughout my life is say goodbye. I left home for a college in Virginia and said goodbye to family and friends. I moved from Virginia to Maine to be with my then, soon to be wife, and said goodbye to friends who are like family. Our family moved from Maine to North Carolina recently and we said goodbye to family, friends and people that poured into our lives unconditionally. Needless to say saying goodbye has become a regular reality in my life. I don't like goodbyes even though I have become a pro at offering them up. I prefer, "see you on the trail." Recently I had to say goodbye or see you on the trail to a very special lady. This was a different kind of goodbye and I knew this day would come. My grandma Rose passed away February 21 and this was my first experience with death regarding someone close. She was 96 and it was her time. Death is one of those permanent goodbyes. Well, at least it is permanent for this life on earth. Death is tragic and sad. Even when you know the end is nearing you still feel death's sting. I said my goodbyes but I hang onto the memories. Not even death can take those from me.

 This was not an easy goodbye for lots of reasons. Grandma Rose and I were close. I always looked forward to seeing her on my many trips back to New York. She made a killer sausage bread, pizza and any other Italian cuisine. I love to eat and she loved to cook. Between my mother and grandmother I knew I would never go hungry. She poured herself into her grandchildren. All of us at some point were impacted by the passion she had for life. We affectionately called her Rosie. There was always a respect for her even when we called her that. Grandma Rose was a fighter. She had a will to live and overcame death's call many times. I thought she would live to be one hundred.  Even as she was dying she taught us all something. It was the spirit of never giving up. She lived a full life and gave everything to the ones she loved. I know she is in a better place free from pain and suffering. Thank God for that. I still miss her though. She was THEE grandmother of all grandmothers!

 I wrote earlier that death is tragic and I believe it is. Whether a person's death is expected or sudden it still is tragic. We miss those we love when they are gone. Their death brings to mind our own mortality and perhaps that of others we love. It gives us time to pause. I know I have done a lot of thinking over the last week or so. I don't think we ever get over death but rather we get better at living with the loss of loved ones. Death sometimes call us to action. Perhaps we make changes or turn over a new leaf. Maybe we slow down or speed up. In any case death affects those that are left behind. Sometimes there is time to prepare for it and other times there is not. The one thing that remains true is that all of us living today will one day pass away. None of us are exempt from death. It is a reality we all must face. I am not one to focus on death even when it appears to be happening all around me. Lately it has. My grandmother lived with a purpose and I intend on doing the same. Her legacy will live on.

 We have all had to say goodbye to the people we love. This is a practice all of us will continue to encounter as we live our lives. The difference between death and a geographical move is that in death people are no longer living somewhere on earth. At least with geographical moves we are still afforded the time to reach out to the ones we love. If you have someone in your life you have not talked to in a long time (for whatever reason) I encourage you to reach out to them. Soon enough they will not be here anymore. No one wants to live with regrets. They will jab at you every day and possibly turn your world upside down. Whether it is a family member, friend, neighbor or co-worker don't let time pass without reaching out your hand. Death will take that chance away from you. Don't let it win. Death's sting is painful enough. When we live with the dash in mind we hold ourselves to a higher standard. All relationships are hard no matter the level. We have to work diligently at them. Rise above all of that. Remember, it's about the dash!