Do As I Do, Not as I Complain

   As president of the elementary school's PTA, of which two of my three children attend, I encounter lots of interesting people. Recently I received two letters from people who had different complaints regarding our PTA. One letter was well written and respectful (although not representative of actuality) while the other was neither. It brought me back to my days working at a daily newspaper where I would sort through the letters to the editor for the sports department. People surely have quite an imagination! Those letters then and some of the stuff I receive today troubles me. All of this makes me wonder at what point in time did we become a society of whiners. Not all of us are. There are a lot of people who get things done. Non-griping, get-things-done kind of people exist everywhere. However, Monday morning quarterbacks are cropping up everywhere. They are experts in giving unsolicited advice and feel like everyone needs to hear from them. Why is that? Do you know? For the life of me I have yet to figure this out.

   I am not trying to be harsh or negative but this is not a topic you can really dance around. Have you ever talked to a "critic" after you completed a project or pulled off a successful event and they tell you the five things you did "wrong" or could have done better? Do you know people who consistently complain about anything, anyone and everything no matter who or what is proposed or talked about? They always have a better way of doing things but when asked to help they disappear. If this is you then I want to help you. I implore you to be part of the solution and not rip people for the sake of doing so. Instead of complaining find ways to participate in the process. Lots of people have beefs but not so many have solutions. Constant griping and complaining shows immaturity and does zero to help build up anyone. Part of being an adult is modeling good behavior. We won't always get it right but we have to do better. It is time to put up!

  I was not offended by the two letters I received. When you lead an organization of which there are over 900 families involved you are bound to ruffle a few feathers. People will not always agree with a person's leadership or direction. However, I am secure in my leadership so that stuff rolls right off of me. You have to have tough skin and not take things personally. People are bound to tell you what they think and sometimes it is unfiltered. The first letter I received took umbrage with the type of fundraiser our PTA rolled out. We are currently without a fundraising leader so picking out a fall fundraiser basically fell on my shoulders. We raised over $41,000.00 so I think we did just fine. I asked them to get involved but was rejected. The thing about me is I do not give people a pass when it comes to their criticism. So, if you bring a complaint to me you can bet I am going to thank you and then call you to action. Be prepared! The second letter ripped one of my leaders in an uncalled for and immature way. I won't stand for that! I challenged this person to try other means to connect with this leader and find ways to support the person. No response. The sound of crickets is deafening.

   The bottom line is we need to find ways to help and not hinder. We all need to look for opportunities where we can build people up and encourage. There are a lot of people out there doing a ton of great things. People are motivated and are passionate and want to bring change. I applaud them and their efforts. However, I really want to see the people who constantly gripe and complain use that energy for something positive. Why not? What is the harm in that? There is no harm. It is much easier to send an e-mail ripping someone than it is to send one asking how they could use your help. Less complaining and more action is a recipe for bringing great and positive change. Do me a favor the next time you want to rip into your pastor, PTA president, principal, teacher, child or anyone else for something trivial: don't do it! Thank them for their work and dedication. They will appreciate it. Trust me! You will notice a difference in your demeanor and attitude when you make a conscious effort to leave the complaining behind. We can make our communities much better places to live, work, socialize and get things done when we stop criticizing and complaining and start doing. No spectators allowed. Remember, it is about the dash!