Communication 101: Social Media's Trap

  Part of what makes us who we are is our ability (or supposed ability) to communicate with another human being. Last post I talked about the dangers of going below the line and using e-mail to communicate an objection or a problem you have with someone in your life or in your kids'. Sending an e-mail to your congressperson or newspaper editor is one thing. Sending a stream of consciousness verbal assault over the Internet to a friend, family member, teacher, pastor, coach, etc. usually is followed up with regrets. An apology should come next. While e-mail can be useful in speeding up our ability to communicate it often leaves people wondering what tone you meant or intimated. That my friends is a problem. It's a problem but only begins to scratch the surface on the deeper issues concerning abuse of social media.

  Social media, while useful in helping folks stay in touch, communicate new happenings to a bigger audience and re-connecting of old friends and family, has some human challenges. You know, humans do the typing and hit send. Sometimes we might wish we could have a do-over. In themselves e-mail and social media are great things. I believe they were created for good allowing folks like you and me get things done quicker and possibly more efficiently. They also help us, get ready...communicate! However, when you add the human element to any of these items things can turn out nasty. There is a common denominator as to why and here is a little hint: it's not everyone else. Issues can and should be resolved. People need to hold one another accountable. Resolution needs to be brought. Forgiveness usually ushers in a resolution of some sort. I love it when that happens. We can certainly hope for the best but a little self control and personal responsibility can go a long, long way. Climb on board the socially responsible train. There's lots of seats!

  Facebook, Twitter, My Space (is it still around?), Hi5 and Last.FM (the latter are used more in South America and the UK, respectively) are most of the major sites. You also have YouTube and Flickr which are more video and picture oriented. There are others but those are the major ones. In the end all of these can be used for good. However, a lot of time they are not. Personally, I have been on Facebook for about three years. I had always resisted it because I didn't think it would really make a difference. I looked at it in a negative way initially. All of that changed in 2009 when I joined a few friends on a teaching mission trip to Denmark. I met a lot of people and wanted to keep in touch. I had established some good friendships during the week I was there. I didn't want them to end. So, Facebook helps me stay in touch with them. I am forever grateful for how it keeps me connected. Do you remember why you joined a social media site? I'm sure it was for something good initially. If you find yourself going below the line on a particular site then maybe it's time to re-evaluate your existence on it. It's time well spent or at least it can be. We have to give it a shot. It won't hurt to try.

  Often times I use Facebook to give my opinion of something which happened in our country or around the world. While I may ruffle some feathers with my opinion I try my hardest to stay above the line. Things of the political nature are a challenge for me I will admit. I am a work in progress in this area. I will edit my posts before hitting send if they come across too harsh. Do I always get it right? Yes and no. I try to take the same advice I give out. A re-evaluation of my Facebook use is in process. I am not the "don't do as I say not to do but I'm doing it anyway" kind of person. My heart is to be a good example. I hope to keep above the line with my posts. Sometimes people don't need to know what you think. That's a challenge for me at times. In the end though I think my use of social media is pretty positive. I have heard horror stories of people using social media for personal vendettas. Ignorant Twitter posts and Facebook wars seem to be par for some folks' course. This is an immature tendency. Whatever happened to working out our differences in person? If you can't see them pick up the phone. Taking to social media to air out dirty laundry is unadviseable and inexcusable. If tempted to do so remember this phrase: Step Away From the Computer!

  None of us are perfect. I am the first to admit my own inadequacies. I think we have become heavily reliant on electronic communication. I am all for advances in technology. I think technology and more specifically social media were created for the good. It is like anything else--its greatness is judged by how we use it. We can turn anything bad originally created for the good. Maybe it's time to start a new trend. Like most things the negative is always brought to light. Whatever sells more newspapers and magazines and boosts website views and TV ratings unfortunately takes center stage. It's an issue we as a society need to overcome. All of that for another day though. Let's all do our part and use Facebook, Twitter and the like for the ways they were created for. I am in if you are. Keep the dirty laundry in-house. Air it out amongst the parties involved. Resolve, forgive and move on. It will be much better. There are some things everyone else doesn't really need to know. Remember, it's about the dash!